The following post was submitted by CWA adoptive Mom, Heidi Rinkenberger/Ethiopia Program. Thank you, Heidi! If you are interested in allowing us to post your CWA adoption-related story, please let me know!
Six months ago. Six, short, incredibly long, months have passed since stage one of our adoptions finished out. Six months ago, I stepped off a 20+ hour plane journey with one baby hooked onto me, and another one hooked onto my husband. We had made it to Ethiopia and back. I couldn’t wait to see my three kiddos that stayed behind. I couldn’t wait to shower and sleep in my own bed. But, I was also getting an idea of just how challenging, emotional, and exhausting the next six months would be. I’m glad I didn’t know before hand. Because if I did I might have held out a little longer, and put up a pretty decent argument with the Lord over why someone else should do this. This monumental task of loving as He loved. This process of sharing my bread with the hungry, and bringing the homeless poor into my house.
Fisher Yonathan Rinkenberger. Zion Ufayse Rinkenberger. It’s official these days. We’ve been to court. In Ethiopia and the United States. Two different judges have put the final stamps on papers. We’ve paid the fees, signed the forms, cried through the waits, and felt the joy of the Lord. People have said (again and again) ‘they are so cute. Followed by, I think you’re a little bit crazy.’ When we got them we had a six year old, a five year old, and a two year old, so adding in the 2, one year olds- five kids six and under. We weren’t a little crazy- we are a lot crazy. We adopted 15-month-old ‘twins’ of a different race, different language, and different continent. To be honest the only way I’m still breathing is by God’s grace alone. It’s been an incredible growing period for us. God has challenged our faith in ways I didn’t see coming. There have been points where I have cried out to God that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t change any more diapers. 16 a day are about 12 to many. What if I can’t love these two as my other three? They don’t love me. I can’t go to the doctor again. What if the other three get Giardia? I am so sick of people staring at me. What if it never gets better? On and on the doubts and fears and insecurities went. But, six months- we made it six months. We’ve had lots of lessons in love being an action not a feeling. We’ve felt prayers and love and support from an incredible church family. The grandma’s have stepped in, and offered patience and help in ways that were perfect for that moment. Our marriage has been put in the fires of stress, failed expectations, and painful choices. But, I am so in love with my husband.  Abba Father. Jesus. The great I AM. The one who called us to this has proven himself faithful. He has begun a good work in our lives that He is faithfully completing. It has been painful. It has stretched us. It has humbled us, and challenged our ideas about God.
But, I just rocked two little people to sleep. I just kissed my little girl, and laid her in a clean bed where she is safe. My little girl who loves affirmation, loves babies, and loves to follow me around the house. I snuggled in my little boy that loves his daddy, has rhythm, and is so flexible it hurts to watch sometimes. Two babies that six months ago lived in abandonment. Innocents that had been born into a world of hurt, fear, malnourishment, parasites, and sin. I’ve got two little brown people running around my house that call me Mom. At the five o’clock supper hour, the noise in this house is enough to lift the roof. It’s easy to fear tomorrow. The questions, the insecurities, the doubts, the five teenagers at once. But, God is already there. We’ve probably got quite a few more bumps to go through before, by God’s grace the vision He laid on our hearts in complete. This vision of heaven. I will choose to believe.
I look at my kids, and think of Thanksgivings to come when I get to rock brown grandbabies to sleep, and sing silly songs with Ise’s son who looks just like Milo used to. I dream about a Christmas where our table is surrounded with our babies all grown up, and I can watch Sim pass the potatoes to a sister God hand- picked out of the plains of Africa. I don’t know what God has for us between then and now. I don’t know the plans He has for us, but that’s ok. I’m content knowing He knows. I’m content knowing that no matter what happens God will walk us through it. I’m so thankful to know Jesus. To know that He loves every one of the 147 million orphans out there. I’m thankful to know that tonight when I go to sleep there are two less.
Some friends have lost jobs, one little blessing we know has been fighting her CF recently, another friend is fighting for her marriage. So many people in our lives have proven themselves faithful. I’m so grateful that God has given us all different challenges that have passed through his hands first. Painful growing periods that will draw us closer to Him. I told my sister one time that adoption wasn’t for me. I’m so glad God gave me the grace to change my mind. I’m so thankful he has been willing to teach me new lessons about love. I love my five! Praise God for six awful, wonderful, grueling, months. Here’s to hoping and praying for the next six decades or so to come. Even so, come Lord Jesus, come. That’s my testimony. My ‘blog’ moment of this adoption journey.
