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Will They Be Brother And Sister?

We have four children.  God brought two of our children to us by way of biological birth.  He is giving us two more by way of adoption from Russia.  As we are waiting on our referral, we receive many questions and comments from people that I know mean well, but have not thought through the ‘realness’ of adoption.  When people find out we are adopting two children – an infant girl and toddler boy – they usually ask if they will be brother and sister.  Whether they were born from the same birth mother or not, God has ordained from the beginning of time for our third and fourth child to come to us from Russia.  And yes, they will be our real children and real brother and sister regardless of their genes.

I just finished the book, “Adopted for Life.”  The book is authored by seminary professor and Pastor Russell Moore, who adopted two children from Russia.  His two boys were born only three weeks apart.  They often got the question, “are they brothers?”  This has been my favorite book I have read so far on adoption.  The book parallels our adoption as God’s child with the adoption of an orphan.  I find this truth foundational in my view on adoption.  As a Christian, I consider myself ‘really’ a child of God.  My favorite chapter is about Joseph as the adoptive father of Jesus.  Moore says, “Jesus’ identity as the Christ, after all, is tied to his identity as the ancestor of David, the legitimate heir to David’s throne.  Jesus saves us as David’s son, the offspring of Abraham, the Christ.  That human identity came to Jesus through adoption.”

Joseph is the real father of Jesus.  My two children from Russia will really be brother and sister, my husband is their real father, and I am their real mother.

Myth 1:  When you adopt a baby, they will have no issues or problems because they are young.

I love this one…as if babies are immune to their early experiences or that they are somehow numb.  If we relate this to the old computer adage GIGO (garbage in, garbage out), our early adopted babies are influenced in great part by their early experiences (good or bad), and can behave accordingly (good or bad) later in life.  Contrary to the myth, baby’s brains are more vulnerable.  From before birth forward, God wired us to be relational beings, and baby’s brains are wired and ready to grow correctly through wonderful, nurturing, sensory-rich experiences.  These experiences wire the baby brain for success later in life.  When the baby brain does not get these wonderful experiences the brain then begins faulty wiring.  Why…you may ask?

The human brain develops from the bottom up.  The brain stem develops first, and then up until four years of age a child’s brain is 90% adult size.  As Dr. Bruce Perry said, “The organizing brain is very malleable and responsive to the environment.  This means that of all the experiences throughout the life of an individual, the organizing experiences of early childhood have the most powerful and enduring effects on brain organization and functioning!”

There is so much hope and help for our children.  God’s miracle of the human brain is malleability.  Is God calling YOU to help a child heal?  From my personal experience, it is so hard, but truly one of the greatest miracles I’ve ever experienced.

Everyday we work with families  struggling with financial fears, timing, discouragement, family dynamics, and more.  Yet for every story of struggle, we  hear two examples of how God uses these same struggles to help families grow in their faith and trust in Him.  It is not unusual to hear about donations for the exact amount  needed arriving at the just the right time.  We  hear how God uses a document or travel delay to ensure a families are available for a high school graduation, better ticket prices, family emergency or other important event that may otherwise have been missed.

The Lord has chosen you to embark on a journey of blessings and personal and family growth.  Are you trusting Him, His perfect timing, and His provision; or are you fretting, worrying or otherwise allowing the devil to distract you from God’s joy in adoption?  When you are feeling discouraged, turn to Proverbs 3:5-6 for encouragement:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Have a great Monday!