If you need assistance in this process, one resource is the IRS’s own Taxpayer Advocate Service (800-829-3676). Click on this link for more information about this free service.

     The need to understand and implement the appropriate path to citizenship is essential for every adopted child.  National Council For Adoption regularly hears concerns from adoption professionals,  adoptive parents, or adult adoptees who are uncertain of their citizenship status and the steps it may take to acquire and properly document their status. We hope that this Adoption Advocate entitled, “Protecting the Rights of Intercountry Adoptees: Steps to Ensure the Right of Citizenship for Every Adopted Individual,” and the accompanying Adoption Citizenship Factsheet is a timely and helpful resource for adoption professionals, adopted individuals, and their families.

     As this article was being readied for publication, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service’s National Benefits Center announced a “Bringing Your Internationally Adopted Children to the U.S.” Teleconference for adoptive parents, adoption professionals, and others interested in addressing these same concerns. If you would like to participate in this teleconference, scheduled for October 13, 2011 at 1:30 pm (CST), please email Community Relations Officer Ya-Mei Chen at nbc.comunityrelationsofficer@dhs.gov by October 11, 2011.

Click here to download Adoption Advocate No. 40, “Protecting the Rights of Intercountry Adoptees: Steps to Ensure the Right of Citizenship for Every Adopted Individual”

Readoption is usually a fairly straightforward process wherein the adoptive family requests recognition of the foreign adoption through the courts in the state in which they reside. In some states, this is just a matter of completion and submission of paperwork formally recognizing under its law the validity of a foreign adoption decree and is an administrative process. In other states, a readoption is completed through the state’s judicial process similar to a domestic adoption.

A frequently asked question by adoptive families is whether or not to pursue readoption of their foreign-born child. There are several factors, the most important of which is whether the child’s foreign adoption decree is recognized as full and final under U.S. immigration law (Homeland Security’s Citizenship and Immigration Services).

For children who entered the U.S. on IR-4 visas, readoption is not optional. A child who enters the U.S. on an IR-4 visa is not a U.S. citizen until the readoption has been completed in the adoptive parents’ state of residence. It is not possible to obtain proof of citizenship (U.S. Passport or USCIS Certificate of Citizenship) these children until readoptions have been completed. The consequences of not completing a readoption can leave these children vulnerable for consequences as horrific as deportation. Current law requires that foreign-born children leave the United States if the adoption and citizenship requirements are not completed before their 16th birthday.

For children who entered the U.S. on IR-3, IH-3, or IH-4 visas, their foreign adoptions will be legally recognized as full and final by the USCIS and will be issued USCIS Certificates of Citizenship shortly after their arrival in the U.S. CWA strongly recommends readoption for all foreign-born adoptive children.

There are several compelling reasons for completing a readoption, whether or not it is required. For more information on readoption, please contact CWA’s Post-Adoption Department at edolder@cwa.org.

Adopting an older child brings educational challenges.  Many older children have gaps in their learning. They may have attended school but not on a regular basis.  For most children, they have the ability to learn but it will take time to catch up with their peers.

It is wise to consider your educational options before bringing your child home.  Talk to principals, ESL teachers, and classroom teachers to find the best placement for your child.  Many parents decide that working with their child at home is best for them.  Some parents plan to home school but several months later, decide that a private or public school setting is needed.  There is no wrong or right way.  You may have one plan before your child comes home and then you find it isn’t working.  Flexibility is important to discovering what is best for your child.

Tutors can also be helpful.  A tutor can often take the stress off of you.  You want to focus on attachment and becoming a family.  If possible, it is nice to have someone help support you with schoolwork.

I always suggest delaying school.  There is always going to be time for school.  You want your beginning months to focus on your family.  Sometimes children ask to begin school.  Try to delay school, attaching to mom and dad are what is important.  It is okay to have educational activities for them.  You can play games and read, there are so many ways for children to learn.

Check out this website http://everythingesl.com/ You may find helpful information as you plan your child’s school activities.

I am available for you if you need me!  Kathy Killough

What is the difference between a nightmare and night terrors?

A nightmare usually occurs during the REM cycle of sleep.  This is the light stage of sleep.  A nightmare often happens during the early hours of the morning.  A nightmare is a bad dream.  Children are able to be comforted during a nightmare.  Children are aware of their bad dream and remember certain aspects of the dream.  Night terrors often happen during the first two to three hours of sleep.  This is the deep sleep stage of sleep.  Your child is not awake.  They look like they are but they are not aware of having the night terror.  A child having a night terror is not able to be comforted. Some doctors do recommend reassuring a child during a night terror.  Others feel the child is not aware of your presence at this time.  A night terror can last 10 to 20 minutes.

What are the signs of a night terror?

Children who are experiencing a night terror may look to you as if they are awake.  Their eyes are usually open. The child may yell, thrash, is difficult to comfort has no memory of the incident, may have a sense of scary images, sweating, and rapid heart beat. He may look fearful.  He may be confused.

What should you do if your child is having a night terror?

You need to make sure your child is safe.  It is a good idea to stay nearby to ensure your child’s safety.  It is often frightening and frustrating for parents to observe their child having a night terror.  It is comforting to remember your child will not remember the night terror the next day.

Can night terrors be prevented?

Many children experience night terrors at about the same time each night.  It has been suggested to awaken your child fifteen minutes before the episode.  Have your child stay awake for five minutes.  Let them walk around the room.  Then have them go back to bed.  Try this for a week.  It may change your child’s sleep pattern.  Hopefully the night terrors will vanish.

Why is my child having night terrors?

Stress and being overtired can trigger night terrors.  Children having difficulty in school or at home can have night terrors.

Should I contact my physician?

If your child’s night terrors last for more than 30 minutes, occur more than once a week, interrupt your family’s sleep you should consider speaking with your physician.  Your doctor can help your determine the reasons for the episodes, recommend ways to help alleviate potential stress factors, and provide encouragement and support.  Sometimes it is comforting to talk to someone that is knowledgeable and understands how upsetting it can be to watch your child experience a night terror.

Please remember that I am just an e-mail away!  Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need assistance in any way.

Kathy Killough/CWA Counselor

Visiting the school a week or two before the first day can be helpful. Call ahead and ask the principal when you can stop by for a visit. Walk through the hallways, library, bathroom, and cafeteria, take time to look and talk about the rooms. If you know your child’s classroom, walk through and look at the room. Find the playground and allow your child time to swing or slide down the sliding board. You can go back and play on the playground before the first day of school. Drive by the school a few times before the first day and talk about what it will be like on the first day.

When you take your child to school on the first day, it is okay to walk your child to his classroom. If your child is anxious, it is okay to walk into the room with him. If you feel he may have a difficult time, call and talk to his teacher before the first day. Let his teacher know how you are going to help him with his transition to school.

Before leaving home, you can give your child a laminated picture of his family. He can put it in his pocket to remind him of your love for him. If you are fond of a particular perfume, spray a little on your daughter so you will share the same scent. If it is a boy, he can wear dad’s cologne or put some of your perfume on a handkerchief. Leave notes in his lunchbox or book bag. It is okay for the older child to call home and talk to a parent during the day. For the older child that is new to the school system, calling home may be something that will help him throughout the school year. Each child has different needs. It is okay to do what is going to help your child.

Reading books together can also help with the beginning of school. Talk about your feelings on the first day of school. Let your child know how you felt and how you dealt with your feelings. It can take several weeks for a family to get into the groove of the school routine. Be gentle with yourself as you find what schedule works best for your family.

Don’t forget, I’m here to talk. Call me.

Kathy Killough
843-871-6286

Myth 1:  When you adopt a baby, they will have no issues or problems because they are young.

I love this one…as if babies are immune to their early experiences or that they are somehow numb.  If we relate this to the old computer adage GIGO (garbage in, garbage out), our early adopted babies are influenced in great part by their early experiences (good or bad), and can behave accordingly (good or bad) later in life.  Contrary to the myth, baby’s brains are more vulnerable.  From before birth forward, God wired us to be relational beings, and baby’s brains are wired and ready to grow correctly through wonderful, nurturing, sensory-rich experiences.  These experiences wire the baby brain for success later in life.  When the baby brain does not get these wonderful experiences the brain then begins faulty wiring.  Why…you may ask?

The human brain develops from the bottom up.  The brain stem develops first, and then up until four years of age a child’s brain is 90% adult size.  As Dr. Bruce Perry said, “The organizing brain is very malleable and responsive to the environment.  This means that of all the experiences throughout the life of an individual, the organizing experiences of early childhood have the most powerful and enduring effects on brain organization and functioning!”

There is so much hope and help for our children.  God’s miracle of the human brain is malleability.  Is God calling YOU to help a child heal?  From my personal experience, it is so hard, but truly one of the greatest miracles I’ve ever experienced.

Everyday we work with families  struggling with financial fears, timing, discouragement, family dynamics, and more.  Yet for every story of struggle, we  hear two examples of how God uses these same struggles to help families grow in their faith and trust in Him.  It is not unusual to hear about donations for the exact amount  needed arriving at the just the right time.  We  hear how God uses a document or travel delay to ensure a families are available for a high school graduation, better ticket prices, family emergency or other important event that may otherwise have been missed.

The Lord has chosen you to embark on a journey of blessings and personal and family growth.  Are you trusting Him, His perfect timing, and His provision; or are you fretting, worrying or otherwise allowing the devil to distract you from God’s joy in adoption?  When you are feeling discouraged, turn to Proverbs 3:5-6 for encouragement:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Have a great Monday!