My Adoption Journey

By Cindy Wade

My adoption story is different than many because I am single. I wasn’t even sure, in the beginning, if single women could adopt. I had just finished my master’s degree and was considering work toward my doctorate. The wisest thing I ever did prior to continuing my education was to pray. God showed me that there is nothing eternal in gaining another degree. Although I love my job and my role in the lives of children, more letters behind my name wasn’t going to fulfill the desires of my heart. God moved me away from continuing my education to starting my very own, and somewhat unique family.

I began talking to family and close friends believing they would think I was crazy, but that didn’t happen. I considered domestic adoption only briefly, but decided international adoption would be the best option as it was quicker and, in my view, less risky. Although my family and friends continued to support my decision to adopt, the adoption of a child of a different race might be a different battle. I knew many in my family were resistant, so I continued to pray. Many things occurred that lead me to Ethiopia. God gave me the understanding that my child and I were meant to be together from the beginning of time. It was always God’s plan for me. I began to pray for the hearts of those I loved to accept my decision to adopt a child of a different race. Outwardly I was terrified, but inwardly I was at peace. Inside I knew I was going to be traveling to Ethiopia to be united with my child for the first time.

I began the difficult process of telling my family. There were many questions, some appropriate, some not, but they understood that I had already accepted the fact that I was going to be a single mom of a child from a different race. I knew the potential for difficulty that existed, but still there was peace. Over the next several months, one by one, my family and friends came to the same understanding. I am sure there was much talk and doubt among people, but I could see hearts changing. My heart and theirs was growing to love a child we didn’t even know yet.

The waiting was difficult, but I kept busy getting his room ready, reading books and checking my email every ten seconds. Finally, the day arrived. The day started just like any other; thoughts always in the back of my mind, “What is my child doing today? Is the day the day I get to see him?” It was testing week at our school and as test administrator for our state achievement test, I am responsible for test security. I had just begun the task of checking testing materials out to the teachers, it was time for my ten second email check, and there he was! Needless to say, I was very emotional! The teachers were wonderful, and many shared my emotions and excitement. I will never forget my heart’s excitement as I looked at his face; those big brown eyes and that smile. He looked so healthy and happy. I had been praying for months for him and his family not knowing what his “story” would be. I prayed for his caregivers, the courts and anything else God brought to my mind. I prayed for him to be loved and not be lonely, and to know me as his mom when I first saw him. It was only a picture, but I knew my prayers were answered. Yet I continued to pray.

Every picture and every email from my wonderful caseworker Patricia was precious, and I poured over it all thousands of times. I still had peace but was very anxious to meet my precious Esrom in person and hold him in my arms. I was ready to start our life together.

The court date came and went, and I was able to make travel plans. There were many bumps along the way, yet my inner peace continued, and all the bumps were smoothed over. I had so many things to prepare for: travel, diapers, formula, clothes, toys and finding enough room in the suitcases. The much anticipated day finally arrived, and my father and I left for Addis Ababa.

I thought I was prepared for my first encounter with my son, but nothing could truly prepare me for that night. I was scared to death. I hadn’t had any doubt until that moment. I doubted every decision I made, especially dragging my father with me to a third world country! I came to the end of myself that night and begged God to take over. Again, He was faithful to me!

The next day, even though I hadn’t slept and doubted everything, I was ready to get my baby. I can’t explain what happened, but it is almost like I wasn’t in control of myself anymore. I just knew I was right where God wanted me. I prayed so many times, “God, you brought me this far, I know you have a plan to get all of us home safely!”  I arrived at the foster home expecting to be taken to a room and wait for my name to be called to see Esrom for the first time. While I was waiting, I looked down the hall and there he was. His beautiful nanny was holding him, playing with him. I don’t know if she knew I was there, but I watched her with him, ever so briefly, and I could tell she loved him and took great care of him. That was an answer to so many prayers. Next thing I knew, I was standing at the door. She handed him to me and began weeping. I was weeping too, but for very different reasons. I had my son in my arms! I had my Isaac Michael Esrom Wade! He put his head on my shoulder and patted my back. I knew in my heart that he knew who I was; his mom-forever! I will never forget that moment. Although I had not birthed him from my body, God birthed him in my heart.

The trip was difficult, but I kept my focus on Isaac. I didn’t sleep or eat for thirteen days, but God gave me just enough strength to get through each and every day.

The trip home was wonderful. My precious son made friends with everyone he came in contact with. Just one look at him and they were captivated! He managed the flight home well, not crying at all, really not even once. He loved people and loved making friends. At only six months, he had a way with people.

When we arrived in Kansas City, I was exhausted beyond anything I have known. My wonderful mother, who had many doubts, was waiting for me at the end of the gate. She did everything I asked. She wanted to take him, but was very patient. She hugged me, and was talking about the trip, giving all the space I had asked for. I told her, “Take him, please take him. I can’t hold him any longer.” She did and was thrilled. She loved him instantly, and he loved her.

Adopting Isaac has changed my life forever. Not only do I have a handsome, bright, loving and precious child, I learned what is it is to come to then end of myself. God was there and carried me through. He literally carried me through. Every prayer was answered and every doubt removed.

Now my life is very different, much busier and I don’t sleep as much. Most Saturday mornings I am up before 6 a.m. But I see Isaac’s face and realize there will be nap time soon! Even with the many changes in my life from schedules to diapers to getting up at 6 a.m., it is all worth it. Adoption of Isaac fulfilled the desires of my heart. Adoption is a beautiful thing.

Cindy & Isaac Wade