Ethiopia: The Vogler Family

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The Vogler Family

It's hard to know just where God will lead a family that is ready and willing to serve Him…

Our "story" has had so many ups and downs, twists and turns that it would take several pages to write, so I will try to keep this brief while still trying to reveal His goodness and leading.

Let me start by saying that when my husband and I first met, adoption had been mentioned briefly as something that would, one day, be "nice" to do. Fast forward, about 7 years, found us with three biological children and 4 miscarriages under our belts. It also found us matched and ready to adopt a little boy, named Manuel, from Guatemala. It was a real time of excitement after our several recent losses. We had lots of pictures of little Manuel, and our whole family couldn't wait to see and hold him. However, God's plans and leading are not always ours; this, we were beginning to learn… In the midst of all of this, we got pregnant with who would turn out to be our little Noah. Long story short, our adoption was put on "hold" until Noah was to be born. During this same time, Guatemala was also experiencing major changes in their adoption "red tape". So, during our "wait" with Manuel, international adoptions in Guatemala shut down completely. Sadly, we never met Manuel- the little boy that stole our hearts through pictures. It was a time of great confusion and sadness; yet we were somewhat successful in trying to find the joys of our current pregnancy.

Although, Noah, was a blessing sent from God, after the loss of Manuel, we weren't sure if we could ever enter the adoption arena again. With a family of 4 children, many would think that most parents would feel as though their "quiver was full". For some reason, I couldn't convince myself that this was it, however. A year after Noah was born, we experienced another miscarriage, and the flame of adoption once again returned to my heart. With lots of discussion, Justin and I decided to consider it once again. We decided to make no decisions however until we had completed a 4 month season of prayer specifically about our decision to adopt. During this time, we became more and more convinced that this was exactly where God was calling us.

Choosing Ethiopia was not too difficult. We had had our eye on it when we had started our first adoption. So, this time we asked one simple question: "Which country is the most desperate for adoptions?" We felt that Ethiopia, with over an estimated 400,000 orphans, was, by far, one of the most distressed countries in the world. The decision was made in January 2009, to apply with CWA for the adoption of 2 children, with the option of adopting up to 4 children!

At first glance, the cost, paperwork, and time that the adoption process entails seemed to be insurmountable! First, we had very little funds of our own. Secondly, I had already experienced going through the paperwork with Manuel, and I knew that it was equivalent to taking at least 2 college courses. I cringed inside to think of redoing it all over again. Lastly, time was something that was scarce in our home with 4 children, homeschooling, my husband working full-time and me working part-time, church obligations, Justin finishing his college degree, etc. I remember asking Justin the night that I filed our first adoption application with CWA and went to pay the initial fee, "Are we sure that we can and should do this?" His response is often what kept "one foot moving in front of the other" in the months to come. He simply said, "Mandy, none of it is ours, anyway. It's all God's. If we feel this is where He is leading, then we will just go as far as we can. If it's not right, He will stop the process." And so, we began.

Since we live in a very small community and attend a very small church, we felt that our outside resources were limited. It's amazing to me, looking back, how often we limit God and His capabilities. I remember reading stories from the Bible about how God had done a great and mighty things for His people. Yet, there was an element of doubt during this time. Now I can say without a doubt, that this adoption and fundraising was nothing for the King of the Universe!! When you think of the story of Gideon, Noah, Moses, and many others of the Bible, I wonder… "How could I ever have doubted Him?!" So, with the help of some dear family and friends, we embarked on several fundraisers. God blessed in remarkable ways. It was like watching the barley loaves and fishes multiply before our very eyes!! The fundraisers often brought in 1000's of dollars. It was awesome to see others impressed by the Holy Spirit to give so generously! It was such a miracle and faith-building time to see God's hand move on behalf of our family and the children we had yet to meet.

During the process, there were several times when we faced deadlines and knew that we would need a substantial amount of money in order to continue moving forward in the process. It was difficult when we couldn't see God's plan and provision just around the next turn. But always, God had it covered. Just around that next turn, he would reveal His way. Several times, we were called and/or taken aside and asked how much money we needed right then. In a moments notice, checks were written; once for $1500.00 and another time for $5800.00!! These were from people that barely knew us, but believed that we were following God's will and felt impressed to help, also. And so God supplied His grace right down to the last penny needed.

In March 2010, we received a referral for 2 beautiful children. Everyone said that we would KNOW as soon as we saw their faces that these were OUR children. I have to honestly say that for us, that wasn't case. I think that after 5 miscarriages and 1 adoption loss, we took each step with some caution and maybe some apprehension. After reviewing the medical reports with our pediatrician and a discussion with an adoption specialist physician, we decided that these were, in fact, our children! Then, the excitement and joy came!! On June 15th, 2010, (also Justin's 34th birthday), we met our new children for the first time. It was an amazing, emotional, joyous, and overwhelming time!! When we physically met them, I could hardly believe that I was actually touching the little brown hand of our new little girl that I had seen so often in pictures! I could hardly believe that I was staring into the eyes of the little boy that’s eyes had stolen my heart. Even now, the memory brings tears of joy and emotion to me. It is still sometimes hard to believe that I have been given the privilege to be "Mom" to these precious little children. What an unbelievable honor to be called "Mom" by ones that were given birth by another dear man and women that could no longer care for them. I can not describe the joy and yet overwhelming sadness that fills my heart for this kind of circumstance in life. It's beyond words…

Once you step foot in Ethiopia, the country and people of Ethiopia will forever be burned into your hearts. I have never met more beautiful, loving people. Yet, their lives and resources are tough. We saw poverty in it's most raw and horrific forms. We had children begging for our water, not our money. We saw thin faced babies nursing from just as thin mothers begging for money to eat. We saw it all… Yet somehow, there is an inner beauty in them. For many of the people of Ethiopia, I wonder if they have something that we don't have. There was something, that despite their destitute circumstances, they had, and that I desired and needed. Did they know and love God in a more close and real way? It's quite possible. Justin and I entered Ethiopia believing that we were doing a BIG thing!! We were helping to save childrens' lives! And, yes, this is true. Adoption is a big thing! We were helping to save lives. But once you see the great need, you soon realize how small it really is.

We have been home for more than 7 months, now. The first 2 months were very challenging; temper tantrums, behavioral issues, language barriers, food refusals, medical issues, lots of whining, sibling squabbles, etc. There were times that we honestly wondered if we had gotten in over our heads, but never once did we God's leading!! The last 2-5 months, we have seen healing and bonding that only God could bring to our children and family. I can honestly say, that we have absolutely NO regrets! That being said, six kids ARE really busy!! Life is changed forever! BUT we would NEVER go back. Our new "normal" is a blessing to us all! The adjustments were and still can be tough for all of us, at times. Yet, I can see how each member of our family has been blessed through those times. The refining of this journey is something that we could only have received by following an all-knowing God. He deemed it not only the RIGHT path for our family, but the BEST path for our family.

Within just a couple of months of being home, we looked at a video of our kids from when we were in Ethiopia, and I asked Justin, "Would it be totally crazy for us to adopt again someday?" He kind of raised an eyebrow, so I was quick to say, "Down the road, I mean. Not now!" (LOL!) His response was somewhat surprising to me. (He tends to be a little more logical in decisions like this, and I tend to use more of my heart). He replied, "I don't know. We've already done it once. What's another time? There are lots of kids out there that need a home."

Who knows what the Good Lord has in mind for our family?! Who knows what He has in store for every family?! All I know, is that we CAN trust His leading. He has our best interests in mind. We may not understand all the ups and downs, twists and turns of this journey called life. For our specific family, we may never understand the reason behind being matched with a little boy that we were never able to hold. Maybe the purpose was for us to just remember him in prayer throughout his life. Who can tell? We will also probably never know, this side of heaven, why 5 of our children had to die in miscarriage. And we may not see how He will lead, financially, down a path that He is calling us to. We may not be able to understand how we will find the time to fit in adoption paperwork and education into our day. But I believe that: God DOES own the cattle on a thousand hills, that He DID lead us through mountains of paperwork, and that He DID multiplied the minutes and hours of our days.

Our children, at the time of our adoption was complete, were 10, 8, 6, 4, and two-2 year olds! Despite how busy we were and still are. Despite the wide-eyed stares from strangers. Despite the comments from people stating how crazy they think we were or are for taking all this on. I would have it NO other way!!! I know without a doubt that God's ways are always the best ways, and I know how powerfully He can work to bring the babies you have on the other side of the world right into your home, arms, and heart, if you will trust Him and allow Him to lead. I can now praise God for the family He saw all along. Praise God from whom all blessings flow…

— Justin and Mandy Vogler and family