Expect A Miracle

My husband Lee and I were married in November 1989. Lee was 26 and I was 23. With our whole lives ahead of us anything seemed possible. We both loved children and knew that one day we would become parents.

After five years had passed we were ready to start our family. Suddenly a block appeared in the road as a year passed after trying to conceive, but without success.

As we began our journey into the world of infertility we had no idea what the following years were going to have in store for us. Our love for each other was being tested every day. It would either break us or make us stronger.

At the same time I began to keep a journal to record my feelings and emotions as we progressed through treatment. My entries were sporadic at first, but became more regular as the years passed and the struggle became increasingly difficult. Much to my surprise my journal was one of my greatest sources of comfort.

For many years our dream seemed hopeless and unattainable. Our life had become one long roller coaster ride where we were unable to get off. It was filled with hope, sadness, happiness, disappointment, frustration, success and failure. It was by far the most emotional, stressful, and out of control time in our lives.

In November 2000 we boarded an airplane for China to meet our beautiful daughter Hanna Hua Li. We had loved her for so long already, long before we ever received her picture. It was truly amazing how we could love someone so deeply whom we had never met.

We spent nine glorious days together without any distractions with Hanna in China. There were no phone calls, no bills to be paid and no worries. There was only time to get to know our wonderful baby. It was an unforgettable trip. Hanna is 4 1/2 years old now and started kindergarten in September. She has become such a big girl so quickly. She is fiercely independent, bright and sensitive. She has a wonderful sense of humor and love for life.

Hanna is our miracle. She brings such joy to our lives each and every day. I am honored to be her mommy. When she calls me “Mama” my heart melts. We are extremely grateful to everyone at Christian World Adoption who assisted us in making our dreams come true. They are truly angels sent from heaven.

Over the past several years I decided to write our story descr ibing our journey toward becoming parents. In September 2004 Expect A Miracle: One Couple’s Compelling Story of Faith and Hope was published. This book offers insight into the physical, emotional and psychological aspects of infertility, bereavement and adoption.

Our goal is to provide comfort and support to other couples struggling to build their families. We hope that it will allow the reader to experience the many emotions of infertility and grief as well as inspire others to become adoptive parents.

Mary Suarez