The Shanfelt Family

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The Shanfelt Family

"You did not grow under my heart, but in it." These ten short words strike a powerful chord with me and my husband, Eric. For 12 long and emotional years we tried unsuccessfully to have a baby. After surgeries and invasive fertility treatments, we finally decided to rest, regroup and pray about what God's plan was for us regarding a family. It was a difficult time of surrender and soul searching. We weren't sure if God had children in his plan or if we were simply supposed to be a couple and leave it at that. But deep down, our hearts ached to love a child.

A year later, we began talking about adoption. Eric's father was adopted so he knew firsthand how it can transform not just one life, but entire families and generations. As for me, I finally was ready to let go of wanting to give birth to a child and ready to fall in love with the child whom God had planned for us. But it was difficult to try one more time. Whenever we had tried to start a family, it ended in nothing but heartbreak. But somehow we felt we were supposed to go down this path and that the child we'd eventually hold in our arms would be worth any risk, wait or difficulty we might encounter.

We quickly began to learn as much as we could and found ourselves drawn to international adoption but had no idea where in the world we wanted to adopt from. Boy, girl, country, race … we didn't care … all we wanted was to find our child. We met with several adoption agencies and felt CWA was the right one for us. Eastern Europe began to stand out and, because we hadn't had any children yet and desired a child as young as possible, we felt Kazakhstan would be our best option. We applied to CWA in December 2007 and immediately got to work on our home study, dossier, and immigration preparation.

Soon after our home study was complete, however, the Kazakhstan had some difficulties. We waited until mid-summer and then decided to make a change. The other two options were Russia and Ukraine. We had heard that the youngest children you can adopt in Ukraine are typically 3-5 years old so we decided on Russia because we still wanted to experience a baby if possible. In yet another twist, we then found out that our Colorado home study agency wasn't accredited in Russia. If we still wanted to adopt from Eastern Europe, it was going to be from Ukraine. We decided that it didn't matter if the child was a bit older than we originally anticipated and officially switched programs. After a relatively short dossier process, we were notified by Ludmilla that our State Department of Adoption appointment would be in February 2009.

We arrived in Kiev on February 22nd. Our appointment at the SDA was the next morning. We were open to either a boy or a girl, but in our dossier we did request a child as young as possible (14 months to 3 years). We had assumed that we would be referred to a child around four years old, so imagine our surprise when we were presented with dossiers for three baby girls all under the age of two. Our hearts leapt … we were going to have a baby girl! When we asked our facilitator about it later, he simply said, "You say either boy or girl, but I know you want girl … I read minds."

Before we had even left for Ukraine, we picked Brooke Aslan for a girl's name. Aslan is the lion in the C.S. Lewis book, the Chronicles of Narnia. There is a long and beautiful story behind why we chose this name, but suffice it to say we felt in our hearts that our daughter would be strong, a fighter, and a defender of others … and how true that has turned out to be! As we looked at the three photos on the dossiers, we were drawn to the adorable 16-month-old baby with her hands held up to her face in a boxing pose. We couldn't wait to meet our "little fighter."

Two days later we left at 3:00 in the morning and traveled six hours by car across the country to Kharkiv (a city of 1.5 million). We went to an orphanage in Zeloni Gai, a small town south of the city. It was snowing lightly as we entered one of the houses and waited in a small room to meet Brooke. The anticipation and feeling of the moment was indescribable. The caretaker brought her in, sat her on my lap, and it was all we could do to keep from crying. After so long, we were finally holding our daughter! I was in complete awe of how beautiful, responsive and chubby she was! We were prepared for an underweight, small-framed child with perhaps some physical challenges and she was the complete opposite – 95th percentile for height and 75th percentile for weight – but none of that mattered anyway. One look in her big, beautiful blue eyes and we were hopelessly in love.

The process in Ukraine typically takes a month if you choose the single trip option, but because of some complications and timing issues, our process took almost seven weeks. However, another CWA couple we met while we were in Kiev returned home with their son after only 15 days. Even though our stay was longer than anticipated, it turned out to be a blessing and gave us time to really bond with Brooke before we took her home from the orphanage. We'd travel to Zeloni Gai each and every morning and stay with her from 9:00 to noon. Then we would go back to our apartment in the city so Eric could work from the Internet café. We have so many priceless moments etched forever in our memories of our time at the orphanage with Brooke, the other children and the caretakers.

After a few weeks, we finally had our court date; a day filled with tears, hugs, and handshakes from the judges, social workers and translators attending. Our region required a 10-day waiting period after the court hearing before we could obtain custody. On March 27, 2009 we brought Brooke back to our apartment in Kharkiv – our home away from home. We stayed in the city for another five days while getting her passport and other required documents so we could begin the journey back to Kiev and the U.S. Embassy. She had such a look of wonder and awe in her face as we started doing things with her around the city and playing with her in our apartment.

During our stay in Kharkiv, we became friends with our in-city facilitator / translator, Yuri, and his wife Irina. They even invited us to their house in a small village for dinner the day before we had to leave for Kiev. We were so honored! We also became very good friends with another couple from Peru who were adopting at the same time from the same orphanage we were. Believe it or not, we met at a McDonald's in downtown Kharkiv. They spoke English and my husband spoke some Spanish. We would get together with them often while in Kharkiv, saw them again back in Kiev, and even wound up on the same flight out of Ukraine with them and their 3- year-old son, Martin!

Once back in Kiev, we worked with the Embassy to get Brooke's immigration visa and to have her examined at the American medical clinic (required for adoptions). The doctor remarked at how much Brooke had already bonded with us and how strong Brooke's character was. She said both were very good signs. Finally, the day came when we said goodbye to Ukraine and on April 8th, 2009, we arrived back home in Colorado to many hugs and tears of joy with our families.

To be sure, there were some difficult and stressful moments along the way, but CWA was great to work with and we are so thankful for all of their help. They were an excellent resource during our preparation, and their in-country facilitators knew exactly what they were doing. You could tell that the facilitators were well-respected by the Ukrainian government officials. For the airfare we used Golden Rule Travel, a company that specializes in adoption and missions.

Just two little facts helped convince us that Brooke is God's first and best plan for us and the child He intended for us all along. While in Ukraine we discovered that the day we decided to adopt was the very same day that Brooke was born. And the day we submitted our official application to CWA was the day Brooke was officially relinquished to the orphanage. Every question we had was answered in Brooke's blue eyes the day we met her. A line in a song by country music group, Rascal Flats sums up our entire adoption journey, "If you're the reason for all that we've been through, then we're thankful for the day before you."

— Eric, Kristi, and Brooke Shanfelt